Our mode of transport was a ‘Hippie Camper’, painted with flowers and butterflies as if to reiterate the point (Steve’s choice naturally), albeit rather ironic considering its perfect condition and cleanliness it really couldn’t be any less hippy! Anyhow, this was to be our home for the next month.
After visiting the Three Sisters at the Blue Mountains just a stones throw from Sydney and making a fleeting visit to Canberra, possibly the worlds dullest and least inspiring capital city, we headed south to the coast.
Aussie roads are truly unique. Only in Australia dies “popping out for a drive” take several days. Mile upon mile of long, straight roads cut through the terrain with not another soul in sight. Literally you can drive 100km without passing another motorist. Just you, the road and…roadkill!! Sadly, my journey south was an animal activists nightmare. Countless kangaroos, wallabies and wombats littered the road, marking my first encounter with the native Aussie wildlife. Astonishing when you consider the lack of traffic. The sheer number of motionless, almost man-sized “hit and run” victims was rather disturbing.
Our first night down south was a huge shock to our system. Warm and sunny by day and shockingly cold by night, it seems that only in Australia can you experience the four seasons in one day. Stone the bloody crows, it was freezing!!! Having been sweating it out in the
tropics of Latin America we were ill prepared for these near arctic climes and we certainly didn’t have the appropriate attire! Nevertheless we battled on, Steve wrapping himself in a flimsy blanket, shivering, but managing to cook some snags on the barbie while I brewed the billy tea!Despite the cold, waking up at sunrise to a gloriously bright day, breathing in the fresh air and having our tea and porridge in the great outdoors, whilst often surrounded by wildlife in the bush or overlooking some beautiful beaches, made braving the cold worthwhile. And thus was our daily routine: sunrise brekkie followed by a swim and shower at the local pool (or the occasional ice-cold outdoor shower), some ripper (bush)tucker for lunch and finally, free use of the abundant barbies for a spot of evening al fresco dining, come rain or shine.
Following several wonderful days at Croajingalong National Park (having breakfast near Mallacoota, a beautiful, remote and deserted beach), Lakes Entrance and Port Albert (gaining respite from the cold in a very local pub, not frequented by outsiders I daresay), we headed to Melbourne, stopping en route at Wilsons Promontory.
As with all Aussie national parks, Wilsons Prom is simply beautiful, with a number of nature trails cut into the environment with minimum impact and wildlife roaming around freely. Our first drive took us down Five Mile Road, a stretch of heathland home to a large population of emus, kangaroos and wallabies. Thankfully, they were alive and kicking! It was an amazing sight. Watching the kangaroos jumping, looking so light on their feet, you forget they can disembowel you with one swift kick! Thus I left the kangaroo stalking to Steve whilst I sat, Milo in hand, watching the sunset!
Australia is a haven for wildlife and paradise for nature lovers. Literally a day doesn’t pass without seeing something weird and wonderful, even in the most unexpected of places. Australia’s collection of native marsupials and monotremes, as well as a huge population of “cage” birds, from galahs and cockatoos to rainbow coloured parrots, makes the experience quite surreal.
The campsite we stayed in at Wilsons Prom was set beautifully in the bush and a short walk from some lovely beaches. We hiked to the top of Bishops Mount for the most spectacular views of the bush, spilling over onto the coast and Squeaky Beach, with sand so fine and soft that it literally squeaks when you walk on it.
Our next destination was Melbourne, first stopping off at Brighton (not a patch on our namesake, I might add) and lets not forget a trip down memory lane to Pin Oak Court aka Ramsay Street!
Whilst in Melbourne we stayed in the suburbs with me old cobber Toni, her bloke John and their 2.4 for-legged friends. After seeing their house I was adamant I wanted to move here! It was beautiful with more than enough room to make swinging cats a hobby.
We visited the CBD, Victoria Market and the more buzzing Southbank, chilled by the Yarra River and even caught 40 winks at the lovely botanical garden. The suburbs aside, I wasn’t particularly enamoured with Melbourne. It had a very London vibe to it, even down to the miserable weather whilst we were there, not good when you are trying your best to forget about home!
After kipping in a luxurious bed for several nights it was, again, time to hit the road. This time we headed to one of Steve’s favourite spots of all times, the Great Ocean Road, comprising hundreds of kilometres of beautiful, coastal scenery and quaint seaside towns. Part of the Great Ocean Road is known as the Shipwreck Coast and its easy to see why. With its rugged coastline and fortitude of rocks protruding the fierce and ruthless waters, hundreds of sailing ships have met their demise off these shores over the last 200 years.
After checking out Torquay, the location of Toni and Johns impending nuptials, we headed to Kennet River for some koala spotting. One of Victoria’s best kept secrets, the drive along the deserted Gray River Road revealed a substantial population of southern koalas, looking like big bundles in the trees as they tried to shelter from the rain. They were adorable but sadly, with less than 100,000 left in the wild, a dying breed.
Our little camper took a beating from the winds as we headed a little further along the coast to what the Great Ocean Road is most famous for, the Twelve Apostles. Strewth, it was windy and gale force winds at that, with a little hail thrown in for good measure. To say we were windswept is an understatement; we could barely keep our feet on the ground. Thus we returned the following morning, minus the raging winds, to see the golden rock stacks of the Twelve Apostles in all their glory.
After taking in the Grotto, Gibsons Steps and London Bridge (the one that really did fall down), we made our way to Warrnambool for some unsuccessful whale watching and a Tooheys or two to get into the spirit of the footie final (which, incidentally, had managed to bring the whole country practically to a standstill).
From the Great Ocean Road it was time to head north into the unknown abyss that is the outback, a land of mystery which just screams Wolf Creek! Following the burnt and dramatic landscape of the Grampians mountain range and a night in Mildura, we drove several hours to Broken Hill, a green oasis aka the gateway to the outback. Its biggest claim to fame is Broken Hill’s very close proximity to Silverton, Australia’s answer to the Wild West. An extremely sparse, dusty ex-mining town, Silverton is atypically outback. The spaghetti-western style Silverton Hotel, surrounded by acres of burnt orange dust, has been featured in many a film, including Mad Max II and A Town Called Alice, not to mention numerous Castlemaine XXXX ads. Even an episode of Minder was filmed here! Quite a contrast to the coast just days before.
After a continual days driving, our engine running on empty and the only Roadhouse for the next 200km virtually dry of petrol, we spent the night in Warren. Then it was my birthday, and what better way to spend a birthday than in the Australian outback! Much of the day was spent driving, but there’s just something so wonderful about driving along outback roads; baking hot, arid and dusty, surrounded by flat desert and scrub, the roads stretching far and beyond the horizon, the sunburnt land giving off a deep reddish-orange glow that the outback is most famous for. This is real Australia. You can understand why the Aborigines are so precious about their land.
We made an impromptu visit to Warrumbungle National Park for a bash of birthday bushwalking. It took a 1.5 steep and windy hours to get to the top of Split Rock but the views were sensational. There’s
nothing quite like standing on the top of a mountain on your birthday, overlooking the stark and jagged volcanic peaks below and feeling as remote and isolated from the rest of the world as is possible. Warrumbungle is possibly one of Australia’s least publicised and most underrated national parks. We hit the road again, spending the night in Gunnedah and celebrating my birthday in true Aussie style with a barbie and vino. Ripper!Waving a fond farewell to our outback adventure we headed easterly to New England which was, as the name suggests, reminiscent of the greener parts of home. Green, hilly and cold, with cows and sheep grazing, New England looked like a scene from Emmerdale Farm. It was so scenic. We visited New England National Park, driving up mountainous terrain, through grey, cloudy and misty country lanes. This area had an air of mystery to it and being so dark and gloomy, a stark contrast to the baking heat of the morning. Then it was back to the warmth of the east coast that evening.
After flying visits to both Coffs Harbour and Lennox Head, both very picturesque, leafy towns, we made our way to Byron Bay, stopping to hike to the lighthouse at Cape Byron, Australia’s most easterly point. Standing at a lookout, looking down at the inviting azure waters, I saw a shoal of big, meaty fish. “I wonder what they are” I said to Steve, “I bet they’re tasty”. Only on closer inspection and on realising how high up we actually were did we realise that they were, in fact, dolphins. A pod of at least 18 dolphins were frolicking in the waters right under our nose. It was amazing and an unexpected delight to start the day. Dolphins never cease to amaze! We headed into the centre of Byron Bay to find a watering whole to quench our thirst. Bustling with tourists, we loved it here! Then, to complete the perfect day we headed to the land of the Banana
Benders, Queensland, in Australia’s tropical north, settling for the night at Surfers Paradise!Apart from the occasional campsite, most of our nights have been spent parked up in random spots. This night was no exception, parking in the car park of Waterworld! Just as well there are no extortionate parking fees over here. Surfers was not our cup of tea so we were only too happy to drive to Brisbane the next morning.
Brisbane is a fantastic city and with 300 days of sunshine per year and loads of green space to hang out, I could definitely live here! We donned our walking shoes and walked several miles along the north and south banks, passing various groups having riverside barbies and a Sunday beer – what a great life! Chilled is definitely the word for this city. Nothing to do with the perfect, idyllic weather I’m sure!
After watching a spectacular fork lightning storm over the city, we had a beverage in the pub before settling on the south bank for a bit of al fresco dining, overlooking the night cityscape. A barbie with a view, what many a diner would pay good money for!
Whilst in the area we couldn’t resist a visit to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary for some quality koala cuddling, a belated birthday treat. They were so cute, albeit a bit whiffy, although I defy the most macho of men not to find these furry friends adorable. The sanctuary was great and housed many a native Aussie animal. It was a great opportunity to get up close and personal with many a kangaroo and safe in the knowledge that ones bowels would remain intact!
Another day another journey, this time stopping off at the wonderfully leafy town of Noosa Heads on the Sunshine Coast for a nice brisk 3-mile stroll in the park. Yet another perfect location to live. The list just goes on…
Our next stop was to the tiny town of Tin Can Bay, my opportunity to feed wild dolphins. Awakening bright and early as usual, and after an early morning swim, we stood in calve high water waiting to interact with Mystique and Patch, two Indo-Pacific dolphins who were loitering patiently for their 8am feed. And so the story goes…50 years ago Mystique’s mother was cared for at Tin Can Bay where she was fed everyday until she felt well enough to return to her pod. Only, she kept coming back, bringing a new calf or member of her pod with her, including her son Mystique who himself knew a good thing when he saw one thus returning everyday. When it came to feeding them they were so gentle when taking the fish from my hand, it was quite a touching experience.
That afternoon we headed to Bucca, near Gin Gin where we stayed with Peta, a friend of Steve’s who he met in Egypt and travelled with for a month in Australia some 5 years ago, in her eco-friendly house
with an enviable amount of land. This was when I started dreaming about what I could do with 100 acres! Right in the bush it felt as though we were in the middle of nowhere, which was fantastic! After 2 days here, sampling the best pies in Queensland and a mini crawl of some lovely local pubs (Steve demanding his XXXX fix), we drove 700km to Cape Hillsborough.After a huge storm in the night, only a slight threat to our lovely al fresco dinner, we woke up at 5am and headed to the beach to hang out with the curious kangaroos that congregate there dawn and dusk. Kangaroos are surreal enough in themselves without being on a beach but then, as I have come to learn about Australia, expect the unexpected!
Airlie Beach was our next location, a smallish party town with easy access to the inner reef and the Whitsundays. Despite its name, there is no beach, yet the man-made lagoon more than makes up for it! It was a great place for R&R, plus some excellent hikes in the Conway National Park with spectacular views of the Whitsunday Islands. We took an all day snorkelling trip and boat cruise to these very islands, lightening our moods somewhat due to receiving a parking ticket that very morning! Can you believe we received a ticket for parking facing the wrong way….THE WRONG WAY god dammit!!!! Nevertheless, the $30 fine much more pleasing on the wallet than the extortionate fines of back home!
We had a beautiful, and at parts vomit inducing, cruise to the lookout on Whitsunday Island itself, offering views of the most beautiful beach scenery that I have ever seen; gleaming white sands merged with the iridescent turquoise, azure and deep aquamarine tones of the calm waters. It was postcard picture perfect! Then came the snorkelling, which did not disappoint, turning up a lone sea turtle which we had all to ourselves for the duration. Finally we headed to the infamous Whitehaven Beach for some sun baking, perhaps the closest vision of paradise that you can get! The sand on this beach is quite possibly the nicest, finest and whitest sand in the world, meeting the crystal clear, shimmering waters. What a perfect day it was!
Another drive took us to Townsville and the Billabong Wildlife Sanctuary, another of Oz’s great sanctuaries. Having resisted the urge to visit Steve Urwin’s Australia Zoo, we were happy that we chose this one due to being a more natural environment and far less commercialised! It was fantastic and gave Steve the opportunity to get over his fear of snakes by holding the Coastal Taipan, the most deadliest snake in the world!! Okay, so it was only a python, but he has now been converted to a snake lover!
After a night in the agricultural fruit picking town of Tully, we had another mammoth driving day, taking us 500km to Cooktown, as north as we could get on this trip. Cooktown is an isolated and fascinating place where Captain James Cook repaired The Endeavour after being damaged on the Great Barrier Reef back in 1770. He stood atop Grassy Hill scrutinising sea and reef patterns in order to find a route back to the Ocean, where we too both stood! Despite a mining boom which expanded Cooktown to astronomical proportions, this died almost as soon as it started leaving Cooktown as it stands now, practically unchanged since when it first became established. Cooktown is a step back in time and is steeped in the most fascinating history, perhaps even more fascinating when you consider that it is only 200 years old. We visited both the Cooktown Museum and the James Cook Museum which were both incredibly interesting before having a pot of beer in the Cooktown Hotel and ending the day with a drive to Port Douglas.
Port Douglas is another of Queensland’s very beautiful, leafy towns, almost typical of this tropical state. From here we headed to Mossman Gorge for some jungle trekking before heading across the Daintree River and entering the Daintree National Park, a World Heritage Listed Site. This is where two World Heritage sites collide, the lush tropical rainforest of the Daintree meeting the mesmerising waters of the Great Barrier Reef. This place is beautiful, with many a rainforest trail to be trodden and also one of the very few natural habitats that is home to the critically endangered Cassowary, perhaps the most dangerous bird in the world. Cassowaries can, like the roo, disembowel you with their razor-like claws and powerful legs so although we were unlucky not to see one, I was also rather relieved!
We spent the night in Cape Tribulation, so named by Captain Cook as the place where the Endeavour hit the reef. I cannot praise this place enough; it was just amazing and so rustically natural and sustainable, with everything solar heated or solar powered. The bats swooping over our heads (or more specifically flying foxes) were so huge that, if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought that Batman was making a visit! We walked the Jindalba and Kulki trails through the rainforest and the Marrdja trail through the mangroves, even stopping in the middle of the jungle for some lunch. Life is so hard sometimes!
Our final destination of our trip was Cairns, a fantastic tropical city with excellent man-made lagoon, beautiful esplanade and perfect proximity to my most anticipated attraction, the Great Barrier Reef!!
First, we took an early morning drive to Yungaburra, a very cute and quaint town visited mainly for the chance to see its star attraction, the duck-billed platypus! Having already been here a few days before and not seeing so much as a ripple, we thought that this time would be second time lucky. Indeed it was. Steve went his separate way whilst I stayed at the viewing platform and lo-and-behold, a mere 5 minutes later, a big splash from the bank of the creek suddenly presented a platypus, paddling across with not a care in the world. I was frozen in awe at this almost mythical creature. Steve returned disappointed and so we sat waiting….and waiting….and waiting for another hour or so, just so I could prove that the platypus was there! I know he didn’t believe me. 2 hours later we returned for one last chance for Steve to see a platypus and this time he saw one in all its glory, almost playfully ducking and diving in the water below. Generally very shy and elusive animals we were very lucky to witness this!
Our last day in Cairns was spent cruising on the Passions of Paradise sail boat before arriving at Michaelmas Caye on the outer reef of the
Great Barrier Reef. Michaelmas Caye, a protected bird sanctuary, was literally a metre from the coral itself. You only had to take a huge step off the island to be amongst the most beautiful coral in the world. The coral was amazing, stunning even, like the most beautiful botanical garden imaginable underwater. Colourful giant clams were littered everywhere, thousands of different coral species swaying in the current. It was simply breathtaking.Our next snorkelling destination was on another section of reef. Although the wind had picked up and the sea quite choppy at this point, we were very lucky to see a white-tipped reef shark and watched as it stopped and took a brief glance in our direction before hurriedly swimming away (although I should mention that at this point we had already started to chase it!). We were the only people to spot him so were very, very lucky and happy bunnies for the rest of the day!
And thus ends our Aussie camper adventure. Covering a whopping 9,155km (5722 miles) we have made what feels like an epic journey across plains, deserts, mountains and jungles, experiencing every kind of terrain imaginable and every kind of climate possible. You name it, Australia has it. A country twice the size of Europe and with only a fraction of the population, it is no wonder that much of it remains so beautifully wild and untouched, and we didn’t even cover a third of this vast land! It has definitely been one of the best, most interesting and varied experiences that I’ve ever had and we were very sad to part with our reliable little camper, the perfect nomadic home!
Now from hitting the road we must hit the air, and head to Western Australia…
